


Trouble Will Find Me

by midoriverte



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Amnesia, Anxiety, Cafe AU, Depression, Detective AU, Don't copy to another site, Implied Past Character Death, M/M, Memory Loss, Nightmares, Paranoia, Tokyo Ghoul Reverse Bang 2018-2019
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-26
Updated: 2019-03-27
Packaged: 2019-12-18 04:08:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,493
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18242090
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/midoriverte/pseuds/midoriverte
Summary: Hideyoshi Nagachika used to be one of the CCG's best detectives, but after an unfortunate incident a couple of years ago, he's been put on desk duty and he's beginning to lose hope that he's ever going to be a detective again. At least he's found a nice little cafe to do some of his boring paperwork in, and the manager Haise Sasaki also seems really nice. He also seems really familiar, and like he's been keeping a very close eye on Hide...





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Based on art by trash-sempai.tumblr.com, check it out!
> 
> Also, thanks as always to sondeneige for beta-ing <3

Hide resisted the urge to draw images in the condensation on the inside of Anteiku’s windows with great difficulty. It was dark, it was freezing (but the weather didn’t have the mercy to be cold enough for snow, so the downpour outside this nice, warm little cafe felt like taking an icy shower), and the steam from the coffee in Anteiku was fogging up the windows so much that Hide couldn’t see outside. 

 

Which, to be honest, made him a little nervous. Not that he would ever tell anyone that. Because then they might think he was still too jumpy to go out and do work in the field again, and he would be stuck doing desk work for eternity. 

 

He stared despondently at the pile of papers he had on the little table in front of him. He probably shouldn’t be working on case files outside the office, confidential information and all, but if he had to listen to one more argument about their shitty wi-fi while drinking their even shittier coffee he was going to lose his goddamn mind. 

 

Besides, no one was looking. He was fine. 

 

The shadows of people walking by the cafe on the street unnerved him.And he once again resisted the urge to nervously draw images on the windows. He was trying to prove he was a serious detective, and serious detectives did not draw smiley faces on cafe windows. 

 

Another cup of coffee was placed in front of him, and Hide nearly jumped out of his seat. 

 

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you!” The waiter said apologetically. 

 

“You didn’t,” Hide grumbled, feeling ashamed of himself. 

 

“I just thought that you looked like you needed another cup,” the waiter laughed gently. “You were frowning pretty intensely at your work.”

 

Hide hastily moved the papers to make sure the waiter couldn’t see anything. “Maybe you’re right about that one.” Suddenly, Hide realized that he had never seen this waiter before. He had pretty carefully observed each staff member the first few weeks he had come here, playing off his investigation as overly friendly banter, and the idea of someone he didn’t recognize sneaking up behind him while he looked at important files was more than a little disconcerting. 

 

Though a small voice in the back of his head told him he was being paranoid. He was being brought coffee in coffee shop, what did he expect-

 

“Is something the matter?” The waiter asked, and Hide was snapped out of his reverie enough to finally give him a good look. 

 

“N-no?” Hide said, with a forced smile. “Just surprised me, I guess?” 

 

“Sorry,” the waiter laughed. “I’ve been told I have a bad habit of sneaking up on people, I guess I walk too quietly?”

 

Hide’s intention had been to quickly memorize the waiter’s features and then try to get a general impression of his trustworthiness (not an impossible feat, if you knew what to look for, and Hide’s intuition had almost never steered him wrong), but his brain seemed to have short circuited because all he was learning was that the waiter was very cute. 

 

He was average height and build, on first glance anyway. But his sleeves were rolled up, revealing very muscular arms (Hide wondered what he did when he wasn’t a waiter, did he just work out a lot? He had a softness to him that didn’t suggest physical work). He had something of a baby face, which made it harder than Hide would have liked to guess his age. He supposed somewhere around his own age, he was probably older than he looked. His was also smiling in a pleasantly bemused sort of way. His hair was probably his most striking feature. The ends were pure white, slowly darkening to gray before it finally went black at the roots. Hide was very familiar with what bleach did to one’s hair, and he could tell that the waiter’s hair was natural. Why would he leave it like that? Surely it attracted unwanted attention? Couldn’t he dye it all black or cut it short until it came in again?

 

(Though the effect of his slightly brittle white hair with his healthier dark hair gave his hair a curliness which Hide admittedly found endearing). 

 

It was his eyes that made Hide’s heart skip a bit, though. They were a light grey, an extremely unusual eye colour. The colour of an overcast sky. It gave the waiter a distinct look, as though he was permanently lost in thought. It was such a rare eye colour that, Hide thought, he should have never seen it on anyone before, except-

 

He felt like he had seen it, somewhere - on someone - before. 

 

Hide realized with a start that he hadn’t actually looked at the waiter’s name tag and was mentally kicking himself. That should have been the first thing he looked at, normally it would have been. Maybe he was really losing his touch, was he so lonely that he would be so easily distracted by a pretty face?

 

The honest answer was “yes”, but Hide chose not to think about it. 

 

He glanced at the name tag Sasaki-

 

“-Haise?” Hide realized too late that he had spoken the odd name out loud. 

 

“Yes,” Haise said with a wry smile. “You’re not the first person who’s found it odd.”

 

Hide went a little pink. “Sorry. It’s just not a name I’ve ever heard before. It’s nice though.”

 

“Thanks, I picked it myself,” Haise winked at him, and Hide was sure it was supposed to be a joke, but could have sworn a bit of a shadow had crossed Haise’s face as he said it. 

 

But that was stupid.

 

“The coffee is on the house, if that’s what you’re worried about?”

 

“What?” Hide said. “No, you don’t have to do that. Why would you-?”

 

“I’ve seen you the last few weeks, you come here all the time and you seem stressed about, well, whatever this is,” he gestured at the papers on the table. “But today you seem even more stressed out than usual.”

 

“Yeah, well- wait what?” Hide said. “How have you seen me here for weeks? I’ve never seen you before now.”

 

Haise quirked his eyebrow, clearly noticing the hostile edge to Hide’s voice. Hide was instantly ashamed but he couldn’t take it back. And, again, he thought he saw a dark look on Haise’s face that was gone in an instant. 

 

“I’m the manager here,” Haise said with a smile, just a little forced. “Well, assistant manager anyway, but I’m sort of being trained to take over so more or less the manager.” Haise paused. “Um, you probably aren’t interested in my work politics.” (Hide was). “The point is, I’m here all the time, but usually in the back. I keep an eye on things but don’t generally come up to the front unless a bunch of people suddenly have very important things they need to ditch work for.” He rolled his eyes and Hide laughed. 

 

“Sorry,” Hide said. “I didn’t mean to imply I thought you were being creepy. I’m just a naturally nosy person.”

 

This got a laugh out of Haise too. His laugh was cute. And Hide really needed to get his shit together because he normally didn’t get so attracted to people immediately after meeting them. He really must be lonelier than he had thought. He should get himself a fish. That would occupy his time. 

 

“A dangerous trait to have,” Haise said. 

 

“I prefer to think it brings excitement to my life.”

 

“I’m sure it does,” Haise said. Just then there was distant sound of shattering glass from back room and Haise sighed heavily. 

 

“It appears that things have fallen apart during my five-minute absence, so I should probably head back.”

 

Hide smiled. “Well, thanks for the coffee. I appreciate it.”

 

“No problem, let me know if you need anything else.”

 

Haise turned back and Hide got a nice view of his ass, which was very nicely accentuated by his pinstriped pants. 

 

Hide resisted the urge to groan out loud. Pinstriped pants did not have the right to be sexy. He was falling apart. 

 

He turned resolutely back to his coffee and his papers. Focus, Hide. Be a detective. 

 

But he had a hard time letting go of the odd feeling that had settled in his stomach. He couldn’t shake the idea that Haise was familiar, that he had seen him somewhere before. 

 

And, despite Haise’s claim that he kept an eye on things in general, he couldn’t shake the feeling that it seemed Haise had been keeping a  _ very _ close eye on him since he had started coming to Anteiku. 

  
  


***

As much as Hide hated paperwork, he was trying to put his best effort into typing up notes on cases other people had solved and organizing them. He always got through the mountain of papers on his desk in record time, and the idea had been to show everyone that paperwork was too easy for him and he should really be out in the field. 

 

But considering it had been three years, he wasn’t sure his strategy was working. 

 

Amon came and neatly placed some papers on his desk. Hide liked Amon, for one thing, he always made sure Hide was aware of his presence before he put things on his desk (unlike everyone else, who just tossed things at him and took his jumpiness as a sign he wasn’t ready- didn’t they know they were being rude?). 

 

“Nagachika,” Amon said pleasantly. “You seem busy.”

 

“Nope!” Hide threw another folder into the “Done” pile. “Do you have anything interesting for me?”

 

“Not particularly,” Amon said, dashing Hide’s hopes. “There was a break and enter, but it turned out the woman was just trying to take her dog’s favourite toy back from her ex’s apartment.” Amon tried to grin but Hide glared at him.

 

“I know you have better stuff than that.” They had rehashed this argument a thousand times. 

 

“And it doesn’t matter, because all you’re doing is making sure everything is in the right order,” Amon said evenly. 

 

“If I’m going to be stuck here reading all day, you could at least give me something fun.”

 

“You just get what we need done,” Amon avoided looking at Hide’s face and he didn’t need to be a detective to know he was lying. It seemed highly improbable that he would get stuck with all these files day in and day out and still get nothing related to the case that had put him out of commission in the first place. He  _ knew _ they were still working on cases that seemed to be connected to it.  

 

But Hide couldn’t say that, because that would be admitting that he had ways of finding out what they were working on when he really wasn’t supposed to. 

 

“And one more thing,” Amon added. “Marude has told me to inform you to stop giving advice to the investigators when you read their unsolved cases.”

 

Hide wanted to say he only did that because they were useless and couldn’t put two and two together, but saying that would probably get him on the bad side of the very people he needed to give him his job back. So he bit his tongue, and turned to the pile of papers in front of him.  Jokingly, he said. “You’re wasting my talents here!”

 

He was expecting Amon to make some sort of joke at his expense, but when Hide glanced up, Amon looked sad. He looked as if he wanted to say “I know”. 

 

***

Hide blatantly refused to bring any work home with him that night. It wasn’t getting him anywhere, he might as well start putting in exactly the amount of care they were giving him. 

 

He wasn’t normally so pessimistic, but he had just about had it. The pitying look Amon had given him was the final straw. Everyone  _ knew _ he was better than this, that he deserved more than this. But he was still never going to get it, because everyone thought he was broken because of a mistake from years ago. 

 

He should have gone straight home, but habit brought him to the little coffee shop before he had even realized it. He sat in a corner seat by the window because it gave the front counter the worst view, and the idea that that manager had been watching him this whole time still freaked him out for reasons he couldn’t name, even though he was sure it was benign. 

 

It also meant that Hide could clearly see when the manager saw him while serving another customer, looked surprised, and headed over to his table as soon as he was done with the other person. 

 

“And here I was thinking you had found another coffee shop,” Haise said with a laugh. Hide wasn’t sure if he should like that the man had clearly been looking for him, but he had to admit he felt a bit of a flush of pleasure at the thought his absence would be noted by someone. 

 

Though he would only be missed by the manager of a coffee shop he always visited alone. 

 

“Do you really think I would cheat on you like that?” Hide said the words before he thought of them, and even he could admit it was a bad habit for someone trying to be a detective again. Haise blinked and Hide felt himself flush again, this time from embarrassment. 

 

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Haise said. 

 

Hide didn’t know what to make of it. 

 

“Your usual?” Haise said. 

 

“Yeah,” Hide had never ordered from Haise, and he wondered if he had really memorized his order from observing him. 

 

Maybe he just asked his baristas, like a normal person would. Hide had no idea why he kept thinking the worst of a random coffee shop worker. 

 

Haise rubbed the back of his head, looking a little sheepish. “To be honest, I was a bit disappointed when I thought you weren’t coming tonight. I was going have your favourite ready for you and everything.”

 

Hide instantly felt even worse for thinking Haise was creepy. 

 

“That’s nice of you.” Then, worried he sounded sarcastic, he said, “Really”.

 

Haise smiled and went to prepare Hide’s coffee. He was back a few minutes later with Hide’s favourite coffee prepared. He set it down in front of Hide, and instead of leaving immediately, he stood around, looking oddly like he wanted to say something. 

 

At Hide’s inquisitive look, Haise said, “Um, I guess work is going well?”

 

“Huh?” 

 

“Just… you don’t have papers for the first time.”

 

Hide blinked. “Oh. No, I just realized my work and my life are pointless.”

 

Haise looked taken aback but tried to recover into a pleasant customer service disposition. Hide had to fight back a laugh. 

 

“Oh, well- I’m sure it’s not-”

 

“It is! But it’s okay,” Hide said. “The sooner I accept it the sooner I can move on with my life.” He was mostly just teasing Haise at this point, but there was a hint of truth to it. 

 

“Don’t say that!” Haise said. “I’ve seen how hard you’ve been working. You shouldn’t just give up!”

 

It was Hide’s turn to be taken aback. He suddenly felt embarrassed that he had whined about his work to this complete stranger. He glanced at the window so he wouldn’t have to look at Haise, but saw that the darkness made it impossible to see outside. He could see himself and Haise reflected in the glass, nothing else around them but complete blackness. 

 

“Your life can’t be more pointless than mine,” Haise said, with a bitter laugh. 

 

Hide snapped back to reality and gave Haise a look. 

 

“I-it was a joke,” Haise said with a laugh, reaching up to touch his chin in an odd gesture. Hide narrowed his eyes. 

 

“Sorry,” Haise said. “I’m probably just bothering you when you’re trying to drink your coffee in peace I’m just… going to go.” 

 

Haise moved to shuffle away awkwardly. Hide felt bad for making Haise feel uncomfortable, so he added weakly to Haise’s retreating back “Thanks for… remembering my coffee order.” 

 

He didn’t receive a response. Hide didn’t blame him. That was a weird thing to say. 

 

Hide looked out the window, staring at his own reflection sitting in the darkness, now alone. 

 

***

 

He hadn’t lingered too long in Anteiku. He drank his coffee quickly and when he paid he looked around for Haise so that he could wave goodbye, but didn’t see him anywhere. 

 

_ He must be hiding in the back _ , Hide thought, though he had no idea why the thought of Haise hiding from him bothered him so much, or why he even bothered to want to say goodbye to him.

 

On the train ride home, Hide briefly considered that he should find another coffee shop. It’s not like they were in short supply, he didn’t have to keep going to the one with Haise and his watching him without Hide knowing it and his awkward conversation-

 

But he was supposed to have let the whole “watching him” thing go. 

 

He paused in looking up local coffee shops on his phone and sighed. He knew he wasn’t going to find another shop. Anteiku was nice, out of the way, not too loud. And, though Hide would not admit it to himself, he was intrigued by Haise. He wanted to see him again. He wanted to know more about him. 

 

The train sped Hide on his way home, and Hide suddenly felt the exhaustion of the day creep up on him. The rocking of the train almost made him fall asleep, and he fought to keep his eyes open. 

 

When he got home he decided to skip dinner and just crawl into bed. He wasn’t hungry anyway. 

 

Despite how exhausted he felt when he got into bed, he tossed and turned all night. Though this wasn’t unusual. He almost always woke up with his sheets tangled around him, feeling just as tired when he woke up as when he had fallen asleep. 

 

His dreams where shadowy and indistinct. Yet he always remembered them when he woke up. 

 

A young man in front of him, his face hidden as it had been for the last three years. Wearing a mask that covered one eye, showing fake teeth. In his dreams, Hide was sure his mask was his real face. 

 

Sometimes he dreams about what had actually happened. Out of ammo and cornered and sure he was going to die, Hide makes a desperate move and strikes his opponent on the side of his head with his gun. The moment seems suspended in time, as the light goes out of his opponent’s eyes and he falls-

 

And sometimes he dreams about the things he should have done. He allows himself to get shot, so that he wouldn’t become a killer. He reaches out, and grabs the man by his black shirt before he can fall. He does anything else. 

 

No matter what he dreams about, he wakes with a start, covered in sweat. And it always takes him a moment to realize he’s safe in his bed. 

 


	2. Chapter 2

Hide may have groaned about his job the night before to Haise, but he got up the next day and made his way to the CCG like he always did. He may not be happy with where he was, but he wasn’t about to quit. The work was too important, and he still harboured a hope he could get back to doing investigations and doing the work he loved so much and was good at. 

And it wasn’t like he had anywhere else to go. 

He went through the metal detectors and groaned when they went off. A few people turned to look at him and he waved at them awkwardly as they rolled their eyes at him and walked away. He was well-known for setting off the detectors. 

“Nagachika,” Seidou said. 

“Morning,” Hide said brightly. 

Seidou sighed. “You know I need to search you down properly, right?” 

“Can’t keep your hands off me, can you?” 

Seidou looked appropriately annoyed at Hide. “Why can’t you just put your coins in the bin like everyone else?”

“Because my pay is so shit I forget I have money?”

Seidou began to wave his handheld metal detector over Hide. The wand, predictably, beeped over Hide’s jacket pocket. And his belt. 

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Seidou groaned as Hide winked and began to take off his belt. 

“How’d you get stuck manning the detectors today anyway?” Hide asked casually. 

“Understaffed,” Seidou grumbled. “And I lost a bet against Mado.”

“Sucks,” Hide said sympathetically, while privately thinking that it seemed like Seidou did nothing but lose bets against Mado.

“Tell me about it.”

“So,” Hide leaned closer to Seidou, abandoning all pretense as he took off his belt and Seidou reluctantly ran his wand over Hide’s crotch again. “Anything interesting going on?”

Seidou was Hide’s one source of information. Hide felt a little bad about how he tricked Seidou into leaking him info, but it had been too easy to pretend he was impressed by him and agree that he thought Seidou was another hard-done-by investigator that could be great if he was given a chance (If, Hide thought privately, he could just let go of his grudge against Akira Mado).

To be fair, Hide did think he had potential as an investigator and was very good at his job. But Hide was better and Seidou was still in the field and he wasn’t, so Hide didn’t feel too bad about tricking him. 

So maybe he didn’t have the right to be annoyed and surprised when Seidou avoided his eyes as he said “No, nothing interesting”. 

It was obviously a lie, though as Hide needed to move on and grab his coins and put his belt back on so Seidou could search another employee that had set off the detector, he couldn’t exactly grill him on the subject. 

Dissatisfied, Hide waved Seidou goodbye and walked over to the elevators. As he rode the elevator upstairs, crushed into the corner by all the other people trying to get to the 5th floor, he thought again of how Amon seemed to suddenly start giving him nothing but low-key, unimportant crimes. Not that he got anything that interesting before, but at least he got some kidnappings and murders. You know, the cool stuff. 

He frowned intensely as he walked out of the elevator with the rest of the crowd. The look on his face must have been pretty sour, because he actually saw a coworker make to wave at him out of the corner of his eye and then quickly put their hand down when he glanced at them. 

He sighed deeply when he sat down at his desk. He barely tried to focus on his work, it was all pointless anyway. 

He perked up a bit when he saw Akira and Amon approaching him. But he deflated when he saw that they were speaking in low, hushed voices that Hide could not make out. He saw them glance at him quickly and, it seemed, pick up their pace. 

Well, that sucked. But more importantly, it was suspicious. He was sure they were hiding something from him now, and he was going to find out what. 

***  
Several days after that, he ended up in Anteiku again, despite the awkwardness of his last visit. At the end of the day, the online reviews made it seem like every coffee shop in the area was going to be filled with loud college students that would make it impossible to do any thinking. 

And he wanted to see Haise again. 

But he told himself needing time to think was the most important thing. He certainly had a lot of it to do now. 

Not that his work was anymore stimulating. It was more boring than ever. In fact, suspiciously so. In the days since he had noticed that all of his friends seemed to be hiding something from him, the files he was being given to work on were even more bottom of the barrel than before. 

But because he found it so boring, he could barely get through any of it during the day. So he ended up having to bring it to Anteiku with him once again, so at least he had an excuse to be there, and could probably avoid Haise’s weird questions. 

Though, Hide thought in irritation, he shouldn’t need an excuse to go to a coffee shop. 

As if on cue, Haise approached his table with Hide’s usual coffee in his hands. 

Hide hadn’t exactly prepared anything to say to Haise, but it turned out he didn’t need to, because he ended up exclaiming, “Did you always wear glasses?”. 

Haise blinked. Hide wondered if he was ever going to have an interaction with this poor man without it being horrible. For one thing, Hide knew for a fact that Haise didn’t always wear glasses because he had literally seen him multiple times without them, and for another it was a terrible way to start a conversation and he was sure, from the faint blush on Haise’s cheeks, that he had made Haise feel awkward and self-conscious. 

“Uh, no,” Haise said, reaching up to readjust his glasses in an automatic gesture. Hide slid just a little bit down in his chair. “I don’t really like wearing them, to be honest, but some days my eyes are worse than others-” He looked like he instantly regretted saying that. 

“Yeah,” Hide recovered quickly. “I know that feeling. I’m supposed to have reading glasses but I never wear them. I just put my face really close to the papers.” 

Haise laughed. “Maybe not the best choice, considering how much you have to read for work.”

“Ugh, don’t remind me,” Hide said. “Besides, I like to live life on the edge.”

Haise laughed again, smiled his crooked smile. Hide felt that maybe he had managed to smooth things over, but he moved his arm in an awkward way and knocked half his papers to the floor.

Hide wanted to sink into the floor, and he pretty much had to in order to work his way out of the corner table to pick up his papers. 

“Don’t worry,” Haise said. “I’ll get them for you.” 

Oh shit. He had no way to stop Haise without looking incredibly suspicious and somehow limboing his way under the table faster than Haise could pick his papers off the floor. 

He could only watch in horror as Haise picked up his papers. There was no way he didn’t see that they were investigations, Hide could see his eyes glance down at the papers. Even if they weren’t important, this was a huge breach of privacy and he could get in huge trouble for it. 

And, for some reason, he really didn’t want Haise to know what his job was. 

“You know,” Haise said, neatly putting Hide’s papers in a pile and placing them on the table. “You always take the smallest table, but you come when we’re not busy. You can take up a larger table you know.”

“Yeah, well,” Hide said weakly. “I didn’t want to be a bother.”

“You wouldn’t be a bother!” Haise said brightly. “Here I can help you move.” 

Hide reluctantly allowed Haise to help him move to a larger table on the other side of the shop. He politely refused to allow Haise to touch his papers again. The table was way closer to the counter, and also way more in the open. Hide sat down at the table and desperately wished he was back in his corner. However, glancing around the shop, he realized why it did look a little weird for him to have been sitting in such a secluded corner when there was almost no one else there. 

“Thanks,” Hide said. 

“No problem,” Haise said happily. “We’re never busy at this time, so you can pretty much always sit at a bigger table and not, you know, knock everything off every time you move.”

“Yeah,” Hide said. “Sounds great, thanks.” He hoped it sounded less hollow than it felt. 

He knew it was stupid, he knew that no one else in this shop cared about who he was. But he couldn’t help feel exposed and jumpy out in the open. 

“So, are you a detective or something?” Haise asked nonchalantly. 

Hide’s head snapped up. Great, so Haise had most definitely looked at his papers and knew what he did. There was no point in lying. 

I used to be, he wanted to say. But instead he said, “No, I just file the detectives’ paperwork.” It was technically the truth, but he wasn’t sure if it sounded more or less pathetic. 

“That’s still a cool job, though!” Haise said enthusiastically. 

“Well, not really…” 

“I think it is!” 

“I guess so,” Hide relented, deciding Haise didn’t need a rant about how much he hated his life. 

“It is!” Haise looked like he wanted to continue, but the door opened up and a small group of people walked in. Hide compulsively drew his papers closer to him. 

“Not supposed to be working on it in public?” Haise asked sympathetically, though he also looked amused. 

“Not really,” Hide mumbled. 

“Don’t worry,” Haise said with a wink. “I won’t tell the CCG.” 

Hide groaned and Haise laughed again. 

“Sorry, I’ll let you get on with it,” Haise said. “I have to serve these people anyway.” 

Hide nodded. 

“Are you planning to be here all night?” Haise asked. When Hide looked at him Haise said quickly, “Not because I don’t want you to be! In fact, I could use the company actually, I just wanted to know how many refills I should prepare for.” 

Hide got the distinct impression he was being teased. But he found that he didn’t mind it at all. 

“I’ll probably be here a while,” he admitted. 

“Good,” Haise said. And it seemed sincere, and Hide felt stomach flip a bit. 

Haise walked away and Hide eyed the group that came in warily until he was sure they weren’t paying attention to him (though why would they? Even at work people had started to look right through him as though he were invisible, even though he used to be one of the best detectives the CCG had) and he opened his files once again. 

He thought again about how Seidou was evasive with him, how Amon and Akira had started avoiding him. How the CCG was supposed to be an organization that took down the worst criminals in Tokyo, but he kept getting the cases they gave interns that were essentially practice. There was no way that was all the CCG was getting. 

There was something going on. And Hide was going to find out what. 

Though maybe he was kidding himself even thinking he was important enough to have anything hidden from him. He just didn’t matter anymore. 

Haise brought him another coffee as he ran his hands through his hair in frustration. He supposed it looked like he was working very hard, even though he was just sitting there feeling sorry for himself. 

He had to confess he liked the attention Haise was giving him. Haise didn’t walk right past him as though he didn’t exist. Haise remembered his favourite coffee and he had a cute crooked smile and sometimes wore adorable big round glasses. 

He supposed he could admit that Haise was becoming the main draw to Anteiku for him. Though it was a little sad that he could be so intrigued by someone just because they paid attention to him. 

Or maybe he was intrigued for other reasons. He still hadn’t forgotten the dark looks on Haise’s face the first night they met. And how he seemed to stop himself before saying anything about his eyes. Thinking back on it, it was less like he was embarrassed by talking about it and more like he was worried he had said too much. 

But it was hard to think that Haise had weird motivations. If he had actually been trying to sneakily find out where he worked, he probably wouldn’t have just come right out and asked Hide if he was a detective. 

With his mind somewhat at ease, Hide worked until Anteiku was about to close, until the other customers slowly filtered out and so did the other employees and only Haise was left, cleaning up the counters and mopping the floor. 

Hide couldn’t stop himself from watching Haise clean up. He had to say, he looked good. The shop was very quiet, even more so than usual, with no one else there. Hide was suddenly very aware that he was alone with him. He could hear water dripping from a tap behind the counter. 

Hide decided it was time to go. He liked Haise, but he didn’t like being alone with anyone anywhere, especially not when it was so dark outside. 

“Heading out?” Haise said. Hide froze. Haise’s back had been turned to him, and he had only just stretched and put his pencil down. He didn’t know how Haise had noticed. Was he listening that closely? Was he watching Hide’s reflection in the window?

“Uh, yeah,” Hide said. “I don’t want to keep you past closing or anything…” 

His heart was beating oddly quickly as he packed up his papers. He did it more quickly than necessary and he was pretty sure his papers got mixed up in his bag.   
He just wanted to get out of there as fast as possible. 

Hide walked to the door as quickly as he could without it looking weird. 

“Well, good night,” he said with his hand on the door. 

“Have a good night!” Haise paused in his mopping to wave him goodbye. 

“Thanks for letting me stay so late,” Hide said. 

“No problem,” Haise said with a smile. “Anytime.”

“Right,” Hide said. And, unsure of what else he should say, left awkwardly. The bell above the glass door rang cheerily as the door slammed behind him. 

Hide hurried to the station so he could get the next train. According to his phone, he still had plenty of time, but he suddenly really wanted to get home. He cast glances over his shoulder after every step. Anteiku was on a quiet street, it wasn’t very brightly lit at night. He probably couldn’t have picked a worse place to come to long after everyone else had gone home. 

Unable to stand it anymore, he burst into a run. His footsteps echoed loudly off the buildings on the narrow little street. 

He ended up at the station, gasping for breath and in there with plenty of time to get on his train. A lone businessman who was getting home late from work took a look at him, saw his dishevelled appearance, and took a step away from him.

Hide felt like an idiot. He actually checked his phone to pretend that he thought he might have been late, even though the businessman was no longer looking at him. 

He really didn’t know what had gotten into him. It wasn’t like Anteiku was in a sketchy area. It wasn’t even that poorly lit. 

It wasn’t until he got home that he realized what had made him feel so nervous. He had decided he should go through his bag and put his papers back in the right folder so people at work didn’t see him try to do it the next day. As he was reading one and trying to figure out where the hell it was supposed to go, that he saw it. 

“Don’t worry I won’t tell the CCG,” Haise had said. But none of the CCG files had letterhead on them for safety reasons. It didn’t say “CCG” anywhere on them. 

So how had Haise known?

***  
Hide’s days tended to blend together, so for the first time in what felt like forever he was glad that it was a Friday.

For once, he remembered to take the metal off his person before he went through the detectors. It was a good thing, too, because the usual security guards were back and they were a lot less friendly with him than Seidou. 

He had accidentally arrived early. He couldn’t sleep that morning, and ended up just going to work automatically. He wished he hadn’t, because he was worried it was making him more conspicuous than he wanted to be. 

His footsteps echoed on the marble floor. There were a few other people there, so Hide felt a little less awkward about being there early. Though as the elevator opened in front of him and a group of people streamed out and headed straight for the doors, Hide assumed most of the people there were on the night shift. 

He walked into the elevator, but he heard heavy footsteps running towards him. 

“Hold the elevator!” It was Amon’s voice. 

Hide held the door open button and Amon rushed in gratefully. Hide had assumed Amon knew it was him in the elevator, and was annoyed when Amon saw him and his eyes widened in surprise. Hide made to take his hand off the button when Akira walked in too. In contrast to Amon, she seemed completely unperturbed, and nodded at Hide when she walked in. 

“Good morning,” Akira said. 

“Good morning,” Hide said stiffly. 

There was a beat of silence broken only by the elevator music playing in the background. Amon was the one who looked the most uncomfortable, and finally he said “You’re here early.”

“Yeah,” Hide said. Then, worried that sounded a little cold he added, in his most bright and cheery voice. “You know me, married to the job.” 

He was clearly losing his touch, not just as a detective but as someone who was generally good with people, because Akira and Amon shot each other a look that clearly said they were concerned about him. 

“You know…” Amon said awkwardly. “We don’t have much to give you today. Maybe you could just take the day off.”

Oh god they think I’m losing it. “Nah, that’s fine. I’ve actually kind of fallen behind.” He couldn’t stop himself from adding bitterly “I guess I’m not very good at paperwork.”

Akira said, “You know, I was reading this article recently about burnout-”

“I’m not-”

“-Some of the symptoms are being tired and unfocussed and falling behind on work you’re generally good at-”

“I don’t have burnout!”

“-One of their suggestions was to take a vacation,” Akira said finally. Hide knew this was her way of saying she cared about him, but he wasn’t exactly in a position where he wanted to hear it. 

“I don’t need a vacation!” Hide said testily. 

They looked at each other again. The door to the elevator opened and Hide got off as someone else got on. He got halfway down the hallway before he realized that he had gotten off on the wrong floor. 

Swearing loudly, startling a young intern that was walking by, Hide made to go back to the elevators. But then he paused. Akira and Amon had called him out for being here early, but what were they doing here so early? And, looking back on their conversation, they had seemed oddly insistent that Hide should leave. 

It suddenly seemed less like concern, and more like they were trying to get rid of him. 

Hide stood in the hallway for a moment, bright morning sunlight pouring into the hallway from the big windows that they had installed to make the CCG seem like an open, welcoming building, but instead made it seem cold and overly modern. 

Did he really mistrust his own friends so much? Could he really not believe that maybe they were genuinely concerned about him. It’s not like his behaviour lately hadn’t been cause for concern. He knew he complained a lot, that he looked tired and that he was growing impatient and erratic. 

Yet, somehow, he could not bring himself to believe their concern was genuine. He had used to work alongside them, they had mentored him, he had helped them solve some of their most difficult cases and they had saved each others’ lives more often than they could possibly count. 

And yet they hadn’t tried to defend him when he had been told he should “take a break” from being in the field, from being a detective. And they hadn’t stood up for him when that break became so much longer than they had thought it was going to be. And Hide was stuck working in a job that he hated, that was slowly killing him, as they moved on without him. 

He suddenly wanted to scream at the injustice of it all. The possibility that they had been hiding something from him had occurred to him, and he wanted to figure it out, but now he could no longer put it on the backburner. He had to know what was happening. 

In normal circumstances, he would have wanted to plan it out, but he knew from their odd behaviour that something was probably going on right now, so he didn’t have time. He would have to enact a plan now. 

The important meetings were usually held in the top floor, but you needed a special key card to take the elevator that high or to open the doors from the stairs. A key card that Hide no longer had. Akira and Amon were probably long gone, so Hide was just going to have to hope his guess about where they would be was right. 

He racked his brain trying to come up with a way he could get up there without one. If he had more time he could have probably come up with a plan to disable the security system long enough to climb through the air vents. But he didn’t have time to do that and also unscrew the vents without detection. There was no way he could climb up the windows, for one it would obvious and for another it would be very windy. 

He had just one more trick up his sleeve, though it was admittedly a long shot, might take too long, and also was kind of demeaning. 

“Seeidoou,” Hide said moments later, wrapped his arms around him in a hug from behind as Seidou typed at his computer and yelped indignantly. 

“Nagachika! What have I said about doing that?”

“Ooh, last name, so cold,” Hide teased while looking around them to check to make sure the other CCG staff saw the embarrassing display, rolled their eyes, and continued about their day,  
“I have a big favour to ask!” He said loudly. It may have seemed counterintuitive to be so obvious about what he was doing, but in reality no one would expect him to be so obvious if he was doing something underhanded. If he had been whispering quietly to Seidou right off the mark, everyone would know something was up. 

Assuming anyone paid attention to him at all, which he wasn’t sure they did. 

“If you need my stapler again for the last time buy your own!”

Hide turned and sat casually on Seidou’s desk, and couldn’t help but smirk a bit when he saw how infuriated he was. 

“Actually though,” Hide kept a carefully practiced, pleasant smile on his face while dropping his tone so that Seidou knew he was serious. “I need your help, something only you can do.”

He knew the magic words to get Seidou’s attention, but he at least had the grace to feel bad about it. 

“Oh?” Seidou said, suddenly intrigued. 

“Can I borrow your keycard?” Hide said innocently. 

Seidou narrowed his eyes. “What for?” 

He knew honesty was the best policy, at least honesty to a point. “Akira and Amon have been acting really weird lately, I’m pretty sure that they’re hiding something that involves me somehow, and they seem to be trying to get me to leave. I think they have a meeting right now and I really need to know what’s happening.”

Seidou sighed deeply. 

“Well, I don’t know everything that’s going on but I know… some of it,” he said evasively. “And, well…”

“I’m not wrong?” Hide finished for him. 

“You’re not.”

“But what happens if they check the security cameras and see it wasn’t me coming through the door?” 

Hide grinned. “Well, you’re just going to have to disable the cameras then, aren’t you?”

Seidou groaned. “My role in this is suddenly a lot more active than I wanted it to be.” 

“So that means you’ll help?” Hide said. 

“Yeah, against my better judgement, but yeah.” 

“You’re the best!” Hide said, resisting the urge to properly hug him. 

“You know you’ll owe me bigtime one day.”

“I already do,” Hide said. He meant it. 

Ten minutes later, Hide had an earpiece in his ear, a janitor’s outfit he had stolen in a fit of inspiration, and a hat pulled low over his face to hide his too-recognizable hair. 

“I’m not going to ask how you got that outfit,” Seidou said in his ear, indicating that he was now looking at the camera.

Hide didn’t respond, but gave him a thumbs up so he could see he was ready. 

“All right, head up the stairs and I’ll loop the image so it doesn’t look like anyone ever showed up. Just FYI, you have like fifteen minutes max. Probably way less. They aren’t stupid.”

Hide gave him another thumbs up. 

“All right. Go.” 

Hide didn’t need to be told twice. He walked towards the door as casually as he could and went up the stairs.

He couldn’t help it. Doing something like detective work was making him feel giddy. This was what he was meant to do. This was what he was good at. And he took a small amount of pleasure in the fact that he was using his skills against the people who had denied him all these years. 

He nearly ran up the stairs, but played it cool as he opened the door and got onto the top floor. 

There were many unmarked doors up here, but Hide knew it all too well and knew exactly where the meeting would be held. And he knew it was supposed to be a soundproof room, and he knew exactly where to listen to be able to hear into the room anyway. 

He smirked. This is what they got for underestimating him. 

There was a room beside the meeting room where, if you put your ear right next to the blackboard, you could faintly hear everything in the other room. Good thing Hide was well-practiced on listening in. 

“-On the move again.” It was Amon’s voice. 

“How can you be sure?” Marude said. 

Akira’s voice, “The crimes match similar patterns to the last time they were active.”

Who? Hide wanted to demand. 

“Do you think the disappearances are linked to them too?” Marude asked. 

“We do, that’s why we stopped giving Nagachika the files,” Akira said. Hide blinked. He had known they were hiding something from him, but he had not been expecting to hear his own name come up. 

“Nagachika…” Marude said, he had the grace to sound bad about it, whatever it was they were hiding from him. Or maybe it was just pity. It was somehow worse to hear it when it wasn’t directed at him. To know that people pitied him behind his back too. 

Akira was matter of fact. “We knew if we were starting to notice a pattern, it wouldn’t be long until he did too.” 

“It just seems a shame,” Marude said. “After all the work he did-”

Another voice now, Hide struggled to put a face to it even though he recognized the man’s voice. “We’ve discussed this. After what happened, he doesn’t have the objectivity to handle something like this-”

“He’s lost his nerve,” someone Hide didn’t recognize. How could he know if Hide had his nerve or not?

“I wouldn’t be so sure of that,” Marude said quietly. 

Akira again, “He has plenty of nerve.” 

Hide was angry with all of them, but he was happy to hear his friends defend him. At least a little. 

Amon’s voice, “It’s not a question of nerve. Or even objectivity. We’re just trying to keep him safe. If Aogiri Tree knew the detective who took down one of their leaders was working on the case again, they would target him even more than they already are-”

“Hide,” Seidou’s voice sounded in his ear, his use of his first name indicating that this was serious. “Some people are coming down the hallway, they’re going to pass by you and they might see you through the window.” 

Hide wanted to scream, just as he was finally getting some information. But he knew Seidou wouldn’t be telling him to leave unless he had to, and he dashed out as quietly as he could. Going where Seidou was telling him to so he wouldn’t be seen. 

He managed to get into the stairway just as he heard Arima’s voice come down the hallway. No wonder Seidou had told him to run. Still, the fact that this was big enough that Arima had to be called was doing nothing to calm Hide’s curiosity. He closed the door quietly behind him and rushed down. 

Within minutes, Hide had come downstairs, returned his stolen caretaker uniform to the closet he had taken it from, and met Seidou again at his desk. 

“Remind me to never do a favour for you again,” Seidou grumbled. 

Hide was too shaken to snark back as he gave Seidou back his badge. 

“I guess you heard something good, huh?” Seidou said. He seemed sad.

“You could say that.” He knew better than to ask Seidou what he knew and what he had thought Hide had heard. It was always better not to talk out in the open like that anyway, but it was also for plausible deniability. If they were ever found out and given a lie detector test, they could both honestly say the other had nothing to do with it. 

“Thanks for… everything.” Hide said. “I should get back to work.”

Seidou nodded, and Hide turned away. 

He didn’t go back to his desk though. For a while he simply wandered the building aimlessly, feeling a bit like a ghost. 

No one acknowledged him while he walked by, and for once he didn’t mind. He barely saw them anyway. 

If they knew the detective who took down one of their leaders was on the case again. 

In his mind he saw one grey eye, and the other hidden behind an eyepatch.


End file.
